Baller of the Day

For those of you that missed all the fun on Friday, please enjoy this IHeartMusic blog post which includes a conversation between me and my mom discussing the word "baller."

My mom was a bit embarrassed at having our conversation published for the world to see, but she got over it really quickly when I surprised her over the weekend by showing up unannounced in Houston for Mother's Day.

It was a great, albeit whirlwind weekend, and even after her initial chagrin at my incessant use of the word "baller" - which I use in the Urban Dictionary form of the word, although to my mother, it means something else entirely - she admitted that I am, indeed, a baller.

Here's a shot of the fam at my favorite Mexican restaurant Saturday night:

Over My Head

I don't profess to be an expert in any field. One particular realm where I'm really in the dark, though, is Wall Street. (Not quite as in the dark, thankfully, as one of my very good friends who will remain unnamed, who actually told me three days ago that he never knew Wall Street was actually, in fact a street).

This blurb in The Onion made me smile, because sometimes even the most meticulous reading of The Wall Street Journal or The New York Times yields nothing more than sheer frustration.

JPMorgan Chase Acquires Bear Stearns In Tedious-To-Read News Article

NEW YORK—As a volatile market reacts to news of the Bear Stearns fire-sale deal with a surge in stock prices but reduced bond yield, officers...

Check out the full text - it's hilarious.

A Time For Everything

Busy Bee. I know. I am guilty of neglecting my blog as of late. My apologies. I'm trying to figure out a better way to balance my schedule, but time management has never been my strong suit. It doesn't help that we recently lost an hour so as to save daylight. And on that note...

It's not "Daylight Savings Time," people, it's "Daylight Saving Time."

My Mom inquired as to why we couldn't just call it Daylight Savings Time. Most people do just that, anyway. (Much to my chagrin, of course. It's almost as bad as people saying they shop at "Nordstrom's." Check it twice. It's Nordstrom. But, as usual, I digress.)

I had to think for a moment on how best to explain why it's saving time and not savings time. What follows is the explanation I gave to her.

Savings is a noun, perhaps most commonly used when referring to money, as in "life savings." Saving, however, is a verb in gerund (-ing) form, which can, at times, represent a noun. For example, in the sentence, "I like shopping," shopping is a gerund in noun form, where shopping represents an activity. (You could not say "I like shop," because shop is a verb. "I like to shop," however, works because the infinitive form to shop is also representative of a noun in this case. But this is getting confusing.

Basically, Daylight Saving Time means that daylight is being saved, and so saving is a verb. The word "save" makes it tricky because of its aforementioned alternate definition - as a noun referring to monetary savings. If it was time to go shopping though, you would not say "It's shoppings time!" You would say "It's time to go shopping," or, "It's shopping time," where shopping is a verb.

In any case, I love that it stays lighter later. I didn't however, love springing forward. I hardly get enough sleep as it is.

A Subtle Stroke of Linguistic Genius

Every so often something strikes me. The following article does just that. It's from last week's New Yorker. Try to catch its intrinsic brilliance.

Say It All in Six Words
by Lizzie Widdicombe
February 25, 2008

Brevity: a good thing in writing. Exploited by texters, gossip columnists, haikuists. Not associated with the biography genre. But then—why shouldn’t it be? Life expectancies rise; attention spans shrink. Six words can tell a story. That’s a new book’s premise, anyway. "Not Quite What I Was Planning." A compilation of teeny tiny memoirs. The forebear, it’s assumed, is Hemingway. (Legend: he wrote a miniature masterpiece. "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." Slightly sappy, but a decent sixer.)

The book’s originator: SMITH online magazine. It started as a reader contest: Your life story in six words. The magazine was flooded with entries. Five hundred-plus submissions per day. That’s two, three words a minute. “We almost crashed,” an editor said. Memoirs from plumbers and a dominatrix (“Fix a toilet, get paid crap”; “Woman Seeks Men—High Pain Threshold”). The editors have culled the best. And, happily, spliced in celebrity autobiographies: “Canada freezing. Gotham beckons. Hello, Si!” “Well, I thought it was funny.” “Couldn’t cope so I wrote songs.” (Graydon Carter, Stephen Colbert, Aimee Mann.) Mario Batali makes a memorable appearance: “Brought it to a boil, often.” So does Jimmy Wales, of Wikipedia: “Yes, you can edit this biography.” Still, there are not nearly enough. Where’s Eli Manning, and Katie Couric? (“Little brother; big game; last laugh”? “Morning girl goes serious at night”?) And what of the Presidential candidates? (“From Ill.; met Bill; iron will.”) Something from Obama would be nice: “Hope is stronger than dope, kids!” A Canadian minister has done Jesus’: “God called; Mother listened; I responded.” Quieter lives can be condensed, too. The editors offer a few guidelines. “Try not to think too hard.” That’s from SMITH’s editor, Larry Smith. It’s impossible, of course, to follow. There’s the temptation to be ironic: “Born in California. Then nothing happened.” Or to blurt out something angry: “Everyone who loved me is dead.” “Try to use specifics,” Smith added. (“After Harvard, had baby with crackhead.”) That doesn’t rule out dazzling nonsense. “Eat mutate aura amateur auteur true” (Jonathan Lethem’s nesting-doll-like memoir). Wistful recollections work; so does repetition: “Canoe guide, only got lost once.” “Birth, childhood, adolescence, adolescence, adolescence, adolescence . . .” You could spend a lifetime brainstorming.

The book party: Housing Works, downtown. Cookies and beer on a table. Sticky notes and markers up front: “Write your memoir on your nametag!” In back, Alex Cummings, twenty-six (“Arab hillbilly goes to New York”). He’s Egyptian, born in West Virginia. He’d come with his wife, Saira. She did not wear a nametag: “It’s hard to summarize your life.” Nearby was the author Maryrose Wood (“Divorced! Thank God for Internet personals”). She reminisced about a Sondheim show. She had been a chorus girl. She sang a lyric about divorces. “My career has come full circle.” Next, Justin Taylor—reddish hair, beard (“Former child star seeks love, employment”). A onetime child model in Miami. He’d posed for German fashion magazines. “You wouldn’t know, looking at me.” The writer David Rakoff was there. He wasn’t wearing a nametag, either. “I’m not really a nametag guy.” He said he liked his memoir: “Love New York; Hate Self (Equally).” It was similar to his books. “The same sort of glib persona.”

Julie Goss had driven from D.C. (“Inside suburban mom beats urban heart”). She was talking to Anthony Ramirez—a Metro reporter at the Times. He had submitted a memoir, too. The SMITH editors hadn’t used it. Ramirez said his feelings were hurt: “I desperately wanted to get in.” There was Summer Grimes, twenty-five. She’s a hairdresser in St. Paul. She had written the book’s title. It took “two minutes,” she explained. She had forgotten all about it. Then SMITH sent her an e-mail: “Your contest entry has been chosen.” She thought it was a scam. Then she saw the book—Amazon. She answered the next SMITH e-mail. They told her about the party. They sent a free book, too. Grimes opened it to her memoir: “Not quite what I was planning . . .” She wasn’t sure about the ellipsis: “Now I’m totally second-guessing myself.”

Did you catch the smart sentences? I'm a nerd through and through. This piece made me happy.

So what's your six word memoir?

Grin and Bear It

I was recently asked by a co-worker the difference between bear and bare. We all know the noun form of the word bear, which, of course, refers to a particular grizzly mammal.

However, the word bear can also be used as a verb, and according to dictionary.com, has a variety of specific meanings. They range from "to hold up" (as in bear the weight of) to "to bring forth" or "give birth to" (as in bear a child). Bear is also used in such common phrases as "grin and bear it," "bear the sight of," "bear with me" - and in these cases, bear serves as a request for patience, and comes from the word forbearance (which means "patience").

Bare, however, has a very different meaning. The adjective form means "naked," while the verb form of the word means "to reveal."

In a characteristically funny post on Brian's Errors, the wordsmith writes:

The confusion between this latter verb and 'bear' creates many unintentionally amusing sentences; so if you want to entertain your readers while convincing them that you are a dolt, by all means mix them up. 'Bear with me,' the standard expression, is a request for forbearance or patience. 'Bare with me' would be an invitation to undress.

The moral of the story, then? Avoid the use of confusing homophones if you can't bear to take the time and double check their meanings.

E-John Hancocks

Just a quick reminder:

Most new jobs come with new e-mail addresses, and with new e-mail addresses comes a world of possibilities. Do I forward? Do I have it all sent to my blackberry? Who do I give this new e-mail address to? What is my signature going to be?

As for that last one - I overheard someone in the office discussing a coworker's e-mail signature (you know, that thing at the end of your e-mail that has your name, title, digits) because said colleague was not careful when he created the signature. It turned out that the executive was sending out countless e-mails as head or executive or manager or director of broadcating.

Check it twice!

How Sharp Are Your Eyes?

Sometimes typos are trivial. Sometimes the implications of grammar errors can be huge (as in the case of the child molester I posted yesterday). Sometimes, however, they are just plain funny. See if you can spot the seemingly harmless typo that COMPLETELY changes the meaning of the sentence in the following press release. See, typos can be damaging! I received the press release this morning:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

JANUARY 10, 2008

RADIO'S COUNTRY CARES FOR ST. JUDE KIDS
TO BE HONORED WITH SERVICE TO AMERICA AWARD

-- Alabama lead singer to accept award --
WASHINGTON, DC – Country Cares for St. Jude Kids, one of the most successful radio fund-raising events in America, will be honored for their pubic service efforts at the 10th annual NAB Education Foundation's Celebration of Service to America Awards. Alabama lead singer, Randy Owen, will accept the award at the celebration held Monday, June 9, at the National Building Museum in Washington, D.C.

"Each year, the Samaritan Award is given to a broadcaster or organization that exemplifies the industry's commitment to serving the public interest through the airwaves," said NAB President and CEO David K. Rehr. "Country Cares is a program that truly embodies the spirit of this award, as apparent through their tireless fundraising efforts and dedication to serving the patients of St. Jude Children's Research Hospital."

Randy Owen played a vital role in establishing Country Cares in 1989. Since its inception, Country Cares has worked with nearly 200 radio stations to raise $315 million for the kids of St. Jude. The national radiothon program is aired in more than 100 radio markets, with over 100 country artists contributing to the organization. These stars include Randy Owen, Brooks & Dunn, Garth Brooks, The Dixie Chicks, Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, Lonestar, Clint Black, Keith Urban and more. Additional information can be found at Country Cares' Web site, www.countrycares.org.

Recent Samaritan Award recipients include Gulf Coast broadcasters for their service during and after Hurricane Katrina and syndicated radio personality Tom Joyner for raising millions of dollars in scholarships for students attending historically black colleges and universities. Other past Samaritan Award recipients include the Children's Miracle Network; The Men and Women of America's Armed Forces; former Tribune Company Chairman, President and CEO Dennis J. FitzSimons for his leadership in a number of charitable and community organizations, including the McCormick Tribune Foundation; and a group of Dallas-Fort Worth broadcasters and law enforcement officials for initiating the first AMBER Plan.
###

Did you catch it? If not, look closer:

WASHINGTON, DC – Country Cares for St. Jude Kids, one of the most successful radio fund-raising events in America, will be honored for their pubic service efforts at the 10th annual NAB Education Foundation's Celebration of Service to America Awards.

(Italics and bold mine). Now that, my friends, will teach you to check it once, check it twice, and employ a set of fresh eyes to check it yet again.

It's In The Wording

The following is some really weird news that stresses the importance of grammatical perfection. That's right! It's important!

From

United Press International

The man accused of killing a Georgia hiker also is the focus of an investigation in Florida probing the disappearance and death of a nurse.

Flaws in a federal sex-offender registration law left a criminal free in Kansas City, Mo.

The faulty law allowed seven-time convicted sex offender Terry L. Rich to be released from custody last month by Senior U.S. District Judge Howard F. Sachs when Rich's lawyer brought attention to the defect, The Kansas City Star reported Wednesday.

Whether or not there was a legislative blunder, the wording should be enforced as written, until it is changed by Congress, Sachs said.

Rich, 59, reportedly has yet to be listed in the sex offender registration system required by state law.

Rich's attorney reportedly argued the law excluded his client because Rich traveled between states in the past and the law only pertained to a sex offender who travels in the present tense.

Assistant U.S. Attorney Dan Nelson asked Sachs to understand that Congress meant for the law to include all sex offenders, the Star reported.

What!!?? That'll teach you to mind your p's and q's. Talk about a tense situation.

When is a Noun Not a Noun?

I suppose a constantly advancing technological society like the one we live in requires subsequent updates of the language we use to describe it. Similarly, words we've been using for years take on new meanings, new tenses, or morph into something else entirely. Case in point: Message. When did 'message' become a verb? My friend Tina often calls me triumphantly, exclaiming, "[Insert latest crush's name here] messaged me!"

Come again? Messaged? The funny thing is I find myself using the same lingo on a regular basis.

Last night I tried to remember when I sent my first text message. Who did I send it to? Did someone teach me? I couldn't, for the life of me, remember. Text messaging has become such a natural part of life these days that it's almost impossible to remember what I did without it. (Not to mention cell phones in general, but that just seems like AGES ago).

I do remember that I got my first cell phone when I was 14; my parents are of the strict and overprotective variety (hush Mom, you know it's true) and therefore required that I never leave home without it. I was THE unlucky teenager whose whereabouts were never in question; my mom knew what I had for dinner, who I sat by, what songs we listened to in the car on the way there. I've had the same cell phone number for over 10 years! Thank you, Verizon, you are the network. I digress...

The point is now that the majority of cell phone-wielding Americans have a pretty comprehensive text messaging plan as part of their monthly access, it's time we embrace the changes in our language that must inevitably occur. It's not that messaged/messaging/messages (as the present tense verb, not the plural noun) didn't exist as words before, it's just that they will now increasingly become part of our vernacular.

Dictionary.com lists it as a verb, albeit seemingly as an afterthought, but hey, it's in there. Get the message?

Back to Life, Back to Reality

I'm Back!

I haven't blogged since December 12 because I was completely swamped with final papers and holiday chaos. The good news is I turned in the last paper required of my Master's career on December 15! I officially have my Master's degree (M.A.) in Journalism from NYU. So my brother was right when he rapped about me having three degrees. (Earlier this year Robbie wrote a little 'flow' about me, which I'll post at the end).

I spent a long 10-day break in Texas with family and friends, and came back to New York to ring in the New Year. I am particularly fond of the rhyming capabilities for New Year's Resolutions. All night Monday I was chanting, "Lose weight, look great, get a date, clean slate, 2008!" So here I am, starting fresh. Out with the old, in with the new. Turning over a new leaf. (Insert any combination of your favorite 'new beginnings' clichés). I have a new job. It's a new year.

Courtesy of my brother, Robbie:

i did this while listening to "This is why im hot" put it on an go start when he starts the first verse This is why i'm hot, alright here i go, this is fo sho guna be a tight flow. And you know how, cause you know me; its going out to my sis Tracy B. Its going down, its about to happen; you cannot forget that her last name is Bratten. And you should know, wat that name means; shes already put it in like 4 magazines. Straight to top, yea shes going up, shes just like a bomb; man shes blowin up. Shes up at NYC gettn that degree, no i aint got one; but shes got three. ya thats the word an its wats heard, im the athlete she is the nerd. sike im just playin, we about to fight, i can throw a disc; man she likes to write. and you always know, we gonn come through; bout to go holla at NYU, but here is my ryhme, it should be a crime, this was 5 mins i need more time. but its okay, man i don't play; youll get another flow on another day! lol im dumb!

~thanks bro.