Keeping the Faith

Thank goodness our justice system in this country got it right this time. This article references the egregious pants case I blogged about before.

The Name Game

Gwyneth Paltrow named her firstborn Apple. Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's daughters are Rumer, Scout and Tallulah. The wacky celebrity baby-name game doesn't stop there, though. Here's a link to a list of some of the oddest names given to the children of the rich and famous. These are a couple of my personal favorites:

Frank Zappa named his children Dweezil (son), Ahmet Emuukha Rodan (son), Moon Unit (daughter), and Diva Muffin (daughter).

Robert Rodriguez named his five children Rocket, Racer, Rebel, Rogue (all boys) and his daughter Rhiannon.

Rob Morrow and Debbon Ayer named their daughter Tu Simone Ayer. This makes her name, effectively, Tu Morrow. And here's a fun fact: Ayer means yesterday in Spanish.

Penn Jillette of the comedic duo of magicians Penn & Teller named his daughter Moxie Crimefighter.

And it's not just celebrities who are getting creative with what to call their offspring. Recently, in New Zealand a judge did not allow a couple to name their child 4Real, saying numerals could not be used. Check out that story here. Closer to home, my mom told me she once met a student whose given name was spelled quite unfortunately. His name is pronounced "Ty-ree," but spelled "Tire." I personally know of a girl whose parents named her Tyranny. Do these people have a dictionary? They might as well have opted to call her "Totalitarianism."

I applaud creativity, but this is absolutely absurd. Is it time to establish some sort of Department of Names for the sole purpose of making sure that no child will ever have to endure the endless torment that will inevitably ensue after his parents name him Tire? I've got six pregnant friends (and counting), and I expect that they will have the necessary compassion to name their as-yet unborn children something that won't cause undue teasing.

Tracy-Tracy-Bo-Bacy-Banana-Fanna-Fo-Facy-Me-My-Mo-Macy, TRACY! I think I did just fine. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

Tap Out

I've made it clear that I'm passionate about all things linguistic. I possess an affinity for idiomaticity and an ear for grammatical correctness. But it is not only the spoken language that interests me. Another of my passions is tap dance, which I regard as a different kind of language, but a language nonetheless.

Like English and Spanish, tap dance consists of words and phrases, patterns, truths and lies. Just as words have etymological roots, tap steps come from somewhere. An article in the New York Times discussed one of today's most popular tap dancers, Savion Glover, most recently recognizable for his contributions to the hit movie Happy Feet. He is currently appearing in Invitation to a Dancer, reviewed here. He is a magician on the floor, but just as occurs in many other intimate circles, not everyone sees eye to eye.

I was disappointed when I read that article, because Glover criticized the hoofers of today of being egocentric and money hungry, abandoning, in the process, organic tap dance education. Tap City comes to New York next week, and I have no doubt that many aspiring hoofers will be inspired by the language of tap dance.

An Expensive 'Suit'

Merriam-Webster defines egregious to mean conspicuously bad or flagrant. Judge Roy L. Pearson of Washington calls the conduct of Custom Dry Cleaners, with whom he entrusted the task of altering his designer suits, "egregious." He is suing the neighborhood cleaner for $67.3 million because they lost a pair of his pants. To me, Pearson's is the conduct that reeks of egregiousness (read: outrageousness).

The New York Times article is aptly titled Judge Tries Suing Pants Off Dry Cleaners, and is definitely worth a read. I applaud the clever copy-editor for the silly headline, which I think is quite appropriate for the ridiculousness of the described situation. The tone of the article is light-hearted and captures the absurdity of the case.

In the spirit of my inability to resist a good double entendre, I'll close with this: though, according to the article, Judge Pearson recently lowered his request for damages to $54 million, it's still quite an expensive suit.

Although I'm quite confident that this photograph is self-explanatory, I can't resist commenting, especially considering the timeliness of the mishap: last night a champion was crowned at the Scripps National Spelling Bee. He is 13-year-old Evan M. O'Dorney of Danville, California, and I'm willing to bet that he could spell "tomorrow" without a problem.

A Fox News article that features the above AP photo reads:

The Democratic presidential hopeful pitched a technology plan to Silicon Valley executives in California Thursday, with the misspelled message, "New Jobs for Tommorrow," plastered in large white letters on a banner behind her podium.

Of course, Hillary is hardly culpable for the unfortunate banner, but the event certainly gave Fox News some ammunition with which to poke fun at her. I've got an idea for a new job: how about proofreader?