Alphabet Soup & Other Resume Don'ts

Yesterday at my internship I had the exhilarating opportunity to rifle through the resumes, cover letters and clips of summer intern hopefuls. I was amazed at the quantity of budding journalists aspiring to take my place as an intern in the world of celebrity gossipdom. For the record, I am quite aware that gossipdom is not actually a word. But shouldn't it be? The huge stack of papers was daunting, but fortunately it didn't take long to weed out the good from the bad and the ugly.

I've always heard that most people would be shocked to find out how often job candidates make mistakes on their resumes and/or cover letters, but I never suspected just how common it is.

The Good

The best resumes and cover letters in the bunch were succinct and plain. If there was an objective, it was explicitly and unambiguously stated. The formatting was symmetric and aesthetically pleasing in general. Most importantly, there were no mistakes.

The Bad

The worst of the bunch were riddled with grammatical errors, misspelled words, misused words, run-on sentences and poor formatting. Some were even either addressed to the wrong person (if the e-mail address doesn't match the heading, you've got a problem) or gave all the reasons why they should be chosen for a job at the wrong publication! Here are a few highlights:

In the introductory sentence, one college co-ed proudly discussed her challenging coursework at Columiba University. I'm sorry, but did an esteemed Ivy League institution like Columbia really not introduce you to the wonderful world of spell check?

Some errors were more subtle, though equally annoying, like the girl who consistently failed to use the spacebar following punctuation. There were also misused words that spell-check wouldn't catch, though a meticulous individual certainly would. For example, one applicant praised a certain selection of the magazine. Clearly, she meant section. There were also resumes with no cover letter and cover letters with no resume. But it gets worse.

The Ugly

Get this: people actually sent headshots along with their resumes. I'm serious! I'm sorry, but the last time I checked, your Glamour Shot is not going to land you a job as a journalist. The intern coordinator giggled each time she opened an attachment that included a pixelated jpeg of what looked to be an aspiring actress. If you want to be an actress, act. Don't apply for a job that would have you writing about actresses.

Perhaps my personal favorite was the girl who matter-of-factly explained her apparent genius by talking about how smart her family thinks she is. Way to go, Mom! You really instilled some self-confidence in your daughter! She superfluously described her intelligence by saying, in far too many words, that her family is often floored by her intellectual capacity and curiosity in all things pop-culture. Here's the kicker: her subsequent sentence read, "I must say, I agree." I don't.

Bottom Line: Your resume will be thrown out, no questions asked, if it is sub-par with regard to common sense (spelling, grammar, content). Check it once. Check it twice. Getting an interview, after all, is always nice!