Shoulda Coulda Woulda

I am proud to be from Texas. Though I don't have a "country" accent, as I was raised in the suburban metropolis that is Houston, I certainly appreciate the slow drawl and sharp twang that is indicative of many a Texan's Lone Star roots. "Y'all" is part of my vocabulary, and I am not opposed to "ain't." I embraced such colloquialisms as "fixin' to" and such abbreviations as "prolly," though in my opinion it is only acceptable to adopt these gems of southern vernacular if and only if you are cognizant of the correct manner of speaking, in a manner of speaking. After all, would Picasso have been as successful in cubism if he had not first gained street cred by showing that he had raw artistic talent?

To that end, I have absolutely no tolerance for "prolly" if you think that is actually how the word is pronounced, and don't even get me started on "supposably." The following are a few common phrases used by native Texans that I consider acceptable in conversation.

"Fixin' to" (about to, as in do something)

"Usedtacould" (used to could, as in used to be able)

"Usedtawould" (used to would, as in used to do)

"Coulda/shoulda/woulda" (for could have, should have, would have, not 'could of,' which is a common mistake)

The list could go on, but what I'd like to address is a glaring grammatical error that I've heard escape the mouths of Texans and New Yorkers alike. This commonly misused phrase is not clearly enough resemblant of a southern dialect to be deemed a colloquialism, and therefore makes the speaker sound just plain dumb. Under no circumstances should it be used.

"Should have went/Could have went"

This phrase hurts my ears and my feelings. I've heard it used by college graduates, working professionals, peers and family members alike, to my dismay. But achieving fluency in language is an ongoing and never-ending learning process, as we are constantly adding new words to our vocabularies and correcting previous mistakes. Now is the time to correct this one. It's most often heard when a person regrets not having gone somewhere. For example:

I heard the concert was really good. I should have went.

or

I left work early, so I could have went.

No. No no no no no. Went should never follow could or should. The correct way to say it is, "I should have gone" or "I could have gone." Similarly, it is correct to say, "You should have come," not, "You should have came."

Y'all come back now, ya hear?